If there’s anything I’ve learned this year (as a single, white, English-speaking, American girl, living in a black South African township 10,000 miles away from home), this is it:
God knows what I need, and His timing in giving it to me is perfect.
A lot of times I just have to stop sulking in my struggles long enough to realize it. Because even when I feel abandoned, he is ever-present in my times of trouble. My best interests are always at the center of his heart. It might not seem like it, but it’s just because I am severely nearsighted.
God is the One that leads me to pasture.
So that I can relish how the sunlight gives vibrancy to the lush blades of grass dancing in the breeze? Yes. But also so I can just be. So I can escape from the world to bask in the glorious presence of the Shepherd of my soul. Be still. So often, I get so excited about the beauty and promise of the pasture that I frolic off like a big, dumb sheep, straying from fellowship with one that led me here. My prayer is that I would dwell in His presence, daily, intentionally. That I would remain humble and follow. That the song of my life would be ever offering him sweet praise, like the aroma of the flowers that He has grown up around me.
We don’t get to live every moment in this serene setting.
I don’t mean to make you believe that this faith path we tread will always be blue skies and sunshine. I can, however, assure you (from experience) that He will sustain us when it’s not. Sometimes His sustenance is tangible. Loved ones caring for you, speaking words of encouragement over your soul, showering you with affection and chances to laugh. But sometimes it’s just you and Him. And that, I promise you, is enough. He is more than enough. We just have to believe it, and lean into Him all the way when storms descend. If we watch for the subtle lift of His wing, we can run to Him and tuck ourselves therein, finding perfect comfort and peace in the shelter He provides. Under His wing is the gateway to pasture. He’s the almighty King of the universe and He invites us to abide in Him. That blows my mind, but I know that I in my Savior am happy and blest.
So when hardships come, and I’m wearing thin, may I be quick to realize that God is simply answering my prayer: keeping me humble, beckoning my soul to abide in Him.
He longs to satisfy and refresh me, so that I can carry on.
He’s the only one that can. He created me; He know me fully, so only He can sustain me wholly.
The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness.
FOR HIS NAME’S SAKE.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
The imagery of this passage is so beautiful.
I see rolling hills, shaded here and there by big, blossoming trees where the cheerful, melodic song birds perch. I see soft grass with splashes of colorful flowers strewn generously throughout; bright sun rays made gentle by the kind of white fluffy clouds that double as storybook illustrations against the backdrop of rich blue skies. Unadulterated, soul-soothing nature.
I see a long table meticulously set and sprawling with the finest, freshest, most flavorful foods—the kind that leave a lingering sweetness on your taste buds and a satisfying enrichment in your soul. Lavish, extravagant celebration, and I’m the guest of honor.
I see hesed: a steadfast overabundant river of all-satisfying, undeserved love that grants us eternal communion with our heavenly Father. Oh, but a foretaste of glory divine.
These covenant blessings stretch beyond our earthly lives into eternity. Because the expression of God’s hesed came to a beautiful culmination at Calvary, where He offered the life of His battered and crucified Son that we may be forgiven and released from our wretchedness—no more dark, scary valleys—to spend all of eternity in His glory, offering the endless honor, laud and praise before the holy throne of our Shepherd King.
I was in the valley: alone, run into the ground, emotionally drained, longing for refreshment. It sucked. But I called on the Only One I know to be ever faithful, and he led my weary soul to pasture and banquet. And this is the reason: that I may tell of His goodness, share the overflow of His hesed, because I’m drenched in it. That I will give Him, and Him alone, the glory.
I was falling asleep last night, totally and completely overwhelmed by the expression of God’s great love for me when I needed it most. And this is what He told me:
“Remember this pasture.”
“Make it a monument in your mind for days to come. More valleys lie ahead, full of fear and hopelessness. But I will lead you back to these still waters. Just follow Me.” My new music collection—thanks to some of you people—composes the most encouraging anthem for this chapter of my story. It’s on repeat and points me to this monument, as it will for years to come, I pray.
“Surely goodness and lovingkindness [hesed] will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house the of the Lord forever.”
Praise Jesus. Hallelujah.
